Chemotherapy... Enjoy the ride!

Well it has almost been a week since my last post and I can honestly say I was not ready for what took place. There will be no sugar coating here, as I am trying to keep this as real as possible, so stay with me!

Tuesday started with a doctor appointment to finalize treatment (which by the way is a good thing, I only have 8 rounds of chemo-ending the second week in October WOOHOO).  Then it was off to infusion for the first time and that is where it all began.

Infusion is pretty much the whole level of the hospital where its quite and somewhat dark (not creepy, but inviting). I had my very own reclining chair, tv and endless supply of warm blankets. Chase on the other hand, had a semi nice chair and had to steal another for his foot rest (he didn't complain once in the 6 hours, such a good man).  Yes I said 6 hours, that is how long this first day took, because they had to be sure I wouldn't be allergic to any of the treatments. I don't remember any discomfort except for the porta cath, as they gave me a HUGE dose of zofran (anti-nausea) medication (aka heaven). After all was said and done, we were out of there and I was feeling great, piece of cake, or so I thought.

I had many visitors over when we returned home, laughing, talking and eating. Then it all hit me about 930 (nearly 5 hours) after the hospital.  The sudden and extreme nausea was so intense I remember pacing in the backyard (random and wierd, I know) because the house was too muggy. I tried to have another anti-nausea med dissovle under my tongue, with no avail. I was in pain. I remember going delirious at this point falling asleep sitting straight up and down in my bed, because the slightest fold in my stomach caused an uproar. Chase watched me closely that night and was able to feed me a different anti nausea medication a few hours later, which seemed to help. The following morning I was so groggy from my exhausted body and irregular sleep, that I remember eating a little breakfast and it was back to bed again.  I did this pattern for a good 2 days. Only waking up to eat and take the necessary medication to keep my body functioning. Sleeping consumed about 18 hours of my day. 

As of Thursday morning I had seemed to have pretty well had a routine down (haha or so I thought). However that morning I had woken up to excruciating pain in my mouth and throat. I had begun to develop mouth sores. (not sure why or how this happens, its a side effect of one of the chemo treatments). So I referred back to my book on the the certain mouth wash I was to use to rinse -warm water, baking soda, and salt. (SICK). Being desperate at this point, I tried it, puking everytime I tried to swish that nasty crap. Seemed to be an oxymoron at this point, so I called the doc who prescribed me the "Super Wash".  This stuff is super powerful, and feels like heaven in your mouth, still doesn't quite take it all away, but will do!

So that brings me to the present. To put this all quite frankly chemo sucks bad. I had no idea what I was to endure. I know that it affects everyone differently. I just so happen to be the lucky one who gets just about every symptom imaginable. I am about a week down, and I know it will get easier all the way up until my next treatment, then its a vicisous groundhog day. 

There have been times that negative thoughts popped into my head and how I would love to not EVER do any of this again. However, I always remember those amazing cancer surviviors who have all done this many times before me. They had to be so strong and if they can do it, so can I . I was reading one of my Ensigns the other morning and came across a talk by President Thomas S Monson, called "Living the Abundant Life" (January 2012 edition).  It was amazing how direct and simple the message was for me . The three main bullets are :

• Have a Positive Attitude
• Believe in Yourself
• Face Challenges with Courage

It brought me to tears and I would recommend anyone and everyone to read it. Its a simple message that applies to everyone regardless of your daily challenges.  Always keep in mind that our challenges we all face might not be for us personally, but for someone around you. So always look to them as a learning experience and as you are lending a hand to help our lord who gave everything for us. I promise, once you are prepared to help, the burdens seem lighter, I know mine already has.

Thanks again for all the loving wishes and prayers. They definitely don't go un-noticed. I love all of you.  God Bless and remember Love Conquers Cancer! :)