Sleepless..

Sleepless is an understatement considering the crazy things I have done over the past weekend and what lies ahead of me tomorrow. Let's begin (as I always do) in chronological order...

Saturday was a huge day for me, because I had to cut off all my hair. I have been growing my hair out for a couple years now, so it was emotional to say the least. In keeping with my true form I documented a before and after. I must say short hair is absolutely fabulous and will hide my (inevitable) hair thinning/loss which is great!

 This is obviously the before picture. I barely missed the "locks of love" donation by one inch.

 Here is the after. I wasn't kidding, its extrememly short. However my hair girl completely rocked the challenge and I am not "owning" my new "do".

The other amazing adventures from the weekend included our family yearly Lagoon day. It was a blast! It's crazy how queasy I have become with older age, none the less watching my sweet niece ride for the first time was awesome. The next day was spent at the pool. Anyone who knows me, knows that I live by the pool "laying out". As of Tuesday I have to wear Sunscreen (30 spf) for pretty much the rest of my life. Which is absolute torture (i"m a tad dramatic)  so I had to have my one last fix.

Overall my last "free" weekend for the next 7 months was perfect. I wouldn't have traded a single thing.

Today was another crazy ride that I wasn't prepared for. I had my Porta cath placed this afternoon. This is done in the OR, however I was just sedated (which means I was awake while they were preping me, keep in mind I am claustrophobic). I was certain I would die from an anxiety attack, at which point I finally passed out (thank goodness).  The catheter is placed in my chest and the tube connects into my internal jugular vein. It is pretty uncomfortable due to the actual tube and needle being attached still. In order to receive my chemo tomorrow they needed to leave it connected. On regular days, the cath will be completely under my skin, except for the port in which they will connect to. Overall this amazing device will make my life much easier.

Now the waiting ends. With chemo starting tomorrow I have noticed my anxiety has increased a little bit. I know all the side effects that happen to most people, however I don't know how my body will react. I will do everything in my power to make sure life goes on as normal as can be. On the other hand I am anxious to get the treatment started and get it over with so I can get back to "normal" life (which means going back to pre cancer days, when I didn't spend most of my time at the hospital).  So I guess it all boils down to being ready to kick this cancer's ass, and proving to myself that I am stronger than any obstacle that is thrown my way (and for those of you who know me, you know I am just stubborn enough to do it).

Another huge thank you to all those who have kept me in their hearts and prayers. They help me tremendously. It's amazing the support system that connects when an unfortunate event takes place. There are so many sweet, genuine and caring people out there. I feel your love every day and it helps me to keep being strong.  So thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you all very much and am so grateful for the opportunity to have you in my life.

Our Love will conquer cancer! :)