Round 5.....

Well hello all, sorry it has been nearly a month since I updated this blog. There are a lot of things to catch you up on, and mostly things you have already heard.   

Round 4 (aka Half way)

·         This treatment wasn’t scheduled until 2 in the afternoon, I had all morning to sit and think about the hell I was about to endure and it seemed too much to handle. My poor husband literally had to drag me out of the house to attend that session. Once we arrived it was business as usual. But I found myself very angry instead of appreciative. (Something I am not proud of, or even something I am used too).  

·         The treatment too nearly 3 hours, and it doesn’t hurt, just annoying. The worst part for me is the smelling and tasting of the different meds. For example, the saline solution they rinse through the drip bag taste just like metal. But worse than metal is the Heparin they need to inject before and after every treatment. That tastes like pure rubbing alcohol.  I literally almost lose my food every time.

·         The recovery from round 4 was one of the hardest I have dealt with thus far. I asked the doctor as to why this might be, and due to chemo build up in my system, the treatments will just continue to get harder not easier (so I’m not crazy, but that stinks).

Round 5 (start of the downhill slide)

·         This round I did meet with the doctor, so I didn’t have the luxury to “prepare” for the madness, considering the time was had to arrive. They took my blood and weight, and then I waited for the results.

·         When the doctor finally came in, she assured me that I “looked” healthy regardless of the situation (pretty sure she tells us all the same thing, regardless, it did lift my spirits). None the less, my white blood count was low yet again, which means I need to be continually careful with whom I come in contact with.

·         She assured me that she thinks the treatments are doing what they should be, however we won’t have concrete answers until after my 8^th treatment. Naturally I have been stressed thinking, this hell was all for nothing and I might have to do it again, however according to the doctor, that risk is so minimally we don’t talk about it.  (WOO HOO-that made my day).

Side Effects:

The newest side effect that has arisen in the last month would be the ulcers that are lining my esophagus and stomach. They are extremely painful and make eating very difficult.  Which would led one to think (or at least in my head) that more weight should have been dropped, on the contrary my friends. I have actually gained nearly 5 lbs. Which according the doctor’s office they love that. I on the other hand, am ready to start a smart healthy diet. I’m considering “Game On”.  My best friend has been doing it for a long time now with great results. It promotes healthy living, while eating all the necessary foods your body needs to thrive. I will have to tweak it a tad, due to the chemo regimens, but hope it will be a good fit! 

As for my hair, well it’s still there, but I have had many people comment on how they can tell it’s thinning, which means I can no longer pretend it still looks good! Haha. My doctor said that if I haven’t lost it all yet, then I probably won’t, it will just get thinner with each treatment.  Which is why I can’t decide if I will just leave it or continue my strategic comb over look? I guess that decision will ultimately be made my hair. And I’ll leave it at that!

Activities

We recently received our Rosetta stone, for Filipino. Chase served in the Philippines, and uses the language for work, so I decided I wanted to learn as well. This will be a fun experience that we can grow closer too, and hopefully I can one day be as fluent as he is.

We were able to take a 4wheeler ride up by the Bountiful B, while Chase scouted for Elk. It was a long ride and my poor dog was exhausted, but it was so much fun. We hadn’t had a lot of time for fun this summer, with everything going on, so it was a nice break.

Well I always try to end with a positive note and this post won’t be any different. I have been angry more than anything else lately. Which I know it part of the healing process, and is actually healthy to let those pent up emotions out.  However, a lady that I love dearly gave me this poem and it couldn’t have come at a better time. It really helped me put things back into perspective and be grateful once again for the many wonderful things that I am blessed with daily.

THE MONUMENT

God,

Before He sent His children to earth

Gave each of them

A very carefully selected package

Of problems

These,

He promised, smiling,

Are yours alone. No one

Else may have the blessings

These problems will bring you.

And only you

Have the special talents and abilities

That will be needed

To make these problems

Your servants

Now go down to your birth

And to your forgetfulness, know that

I love you beyond measure.

These problems that I give you

Are a symbol of that love.

May God bless all of you, as I know he has blessed me in this great time of need? Remember that we are not alone EVER. I hope you will all take as much comfort in this poem as I have.

Remember Love conquers cancer, XoOXxx